Another month down, and this month we've just completed our rounds.
I got to use a new medication (well, new for me!) this month. The last several months on Chlomid had me a sobbing, drooling, nose-dripping mess. Every month I had to take a higher dose...and then when it didn't work, there was another round. So we were introduced this month to Femura--the generic version of Letrazol (which I've probably spelled wrong in both cases!). The nurse had advised us that this medication usually leads to earlier ovulation, and I was scheduled for a trip to Las Vegas with my girls to kiss goodbye my youthful years as I continue to dry up into an old woman with crusty ovaries...I digress. However, as I landed back in Albuquerque in time, we decided to go ahead. Hence, our first trip to Albuquerque this month.
Visit one had nothing ready yet, but there were four potentials, and so the nurse advised us to come back just under a week later to see what happened. So we returned this Monday to Albuquerque. Trip two.
Trip two showed that we were down to two potentials, and we were told to return this Friday, but to continue taking the ovulation predictor kit sticks. Good news is that we had stocked up on the kits, because Podunk doesn't sell the brand that the office wants us to use...so Thursday I took the test, and let's back up. For anyone that hasn't had the pleasure of peeing on a stick for days on end just to see if perhaps you're experiencing a surge that would indicate that an egg will be released, you don't know what your missing. They look exactly like pregnancy tests, with a little arrow showing you their line that will appear no matter what. Your line will appear next to it, and must be thicker or brighter blue to pass. If a faint blue line appears, it's not ready--your line has to be greater than the stick's line. Should you pass the test, and should you live two hours away from your doctor's office, you call and schedule an appointment for the next day.
So we generally try to call first thing in the morning so that we can plot out the two hour drive against my need for sleep. Thursday I overslept and when I took the test, it was like five minutes before noon, and the doctor's office is closed from noon to one for lunch. Both lines on the test were faded. As in, even the line from the company was barely there. The tests weren't supposed to expire until 2010, but what do I know? So I called the doctor's office, and a nurse called me back and determined that we should return to Albuquerque for an ultrasound to see if we missed the opportunity. Trip three.
Good news with Trip three is that it had totally freaked me out that somehow I'd messed up the test. I know that I still really want this. Better news is that there were two HUGE honking eggs ready to go. So the nurse shot me up, and we scheduled return for Friday's trip four for the actual IUI.
Trip four is obviously now complete (given that it's now Saturday!). It's hard to believe that this is only the third IUI, but as the nurse cutely told us "third time's a charm" and we had better eggs and a great sample to use.
Fortunately, I can take the pregnancy test in Santa Fe, so there won't be another trip to Albuquerque for a couple of weeks. Between the shot in my rump and the three drives to and from Albuquerque for a whopping 15 minute visit to the office each time, I'm not sure my rump could take another trip to Albuquerque for a while!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Life
It's ironic to me that I'm trying to create life, while I watch a friend struggle for life, so I know this will be brief...more of a quickie journaling than I usually like to do to digest my thoughts.
We've just returned from Albuquerque, and I have been dutifully shot up with Hubby's swimmers :) The nurse must have been able to tell that I'm not really all here these days, as she hugged me long and hard before leaving the room...and I'd just met her last week.
We're trying to figure out days (the counting changes with the other drug, and I know I'll be permanently confused!) to see if October will actually work, now that we have a day to start counting from. I'm sure that makes no sense.
So in 14 days I'll trek down to Santa Fe for the obligatory blood pregnancy test, and we'll see where we go from there.
On a brighter note, we spent some time checking out baby furniture (cribs all start looking alike after the 10th, and I couldn't remember one "travel system" from another...totally overwhelming!) so that we have an idea of what sort of funds we should be setting aside for the other Hen's chick. We've decided that we've heard God loud and clear, and that we should pursue the chick as long as it's possible...and with God, it's ALL possible. Now we just have to figure out how He's going to make it possible to rob a bank!
We've just returned from Albuquerque, and I have been dutifully shot up with Hubby's swimmers :) The nurse must have been able to tell that I'm not really all here these days, as she hugged me long and hard before leaving the room...and I'd just met her last week.
We're trying to figure out days (the counting changes with the other drug, and I know I'll be permanently confused!) to see if October will actually work, now that we have a day to start counting from. I'm sure that makes no sense.
So in 14 days I'll trek down to Santa Fe for the obligatory blood pregnancy test, and we'll see where we go from there.
On a brighter note, we spent some time checking out baby furniture (cribs all start looking alike after the 10th, and I couldn't remember one "travel system" from another...totally overwhelming!) so that we have an idea of what sort of funds we should be setting aside for the other Hen's chick. We've decided that we've heard God loud and clear, and that we should pursue the chick as long as it's possible...and with God, it's ALL possible. Now we just have to figure out how He's going to make it possible to rob a bank!
Saturday, September 13, 2008
The Fox in the Hen House
Chlomid is apparently a sneaky little devil. It steals your emotions and it just may steal your eggs. Well, not literally.
After the triple dose of Chlomid, which you'll recall followed shortly behind the double dose, we've gotten no where.
I was a blubbering, complete with snot flowing and drool falling, idiot. I was definitely touchy, opinionated and miserable. There was an incident which involved Hubby's laughter and my sobs. It was not a fun week.
So we dutifully returned to the doctor last week, and the nurse carefully explained to me that there were no eggs near ready. Nada. There are two follicles slightly bigger than the others, but they are definitely not ready. So we're waiting to see if they grow, and Monday we'll return to the office, unless we manage to ovulate before then.
The nurse also explained that occasionally a body will react differently to Chlomid and the follicles may actually shrink. She then also advised me that next month we might just start with the triple dose...which has me a little frustrated. After the other nurse had discussed maybe trying another medication, I was nervous (something about the phrase "off the label" does that to me), but if it meant being more in control of myself, I was all about it. The nurse on Thursday also said that they sometimes have patients on as much Chlomid as 200 mg, and I can't even imagine how much fun that might be.
So we'll see what Monday brings. We've discussed taking October off--I'm supposed to be on travel, and we wanted time to pray about and research the other medicine--and I'm thinking that if my follicles are shrinking, and if the plan really is 200 mg, I may need a month to pull myself together.
After the triple dose of Chlomid, which you'll recall followed shortly behind the double dose, we've gotten no where.
I was a blubbering, complete with snot flowing and drool falling, idiot. I was definitely touchy, opinionated and miserable. There was an incident which involved Hubby's laughter and my sobs. It was not a fun week.
So we dutifully returned to the doctor last week, and the nurse carefully explained to me that there were no eggs near ready. Nada. There are two follicles slightly bigger than the others, but they are definitely not ready. So we're waiting to see if they grow, and Monday we'll return to the office, unless we manage to ovulate before then.
The nurse also explained that occasionally a body will react differently to Chlomid and the follicles may actually shrink. She then also advised me that next month we might just start with the triple dose...which has me a little frustrated. After the other nurse had discussed maybe trying another medication, I was nervous (something about the phrase "off the label" does that to me), but if it meant being more in control of myself, I was all about it. The nurse on Thursday also said that they sometimes have patients on as much Chlomid as 200 mg, and I can't even imagine how much fun that might be.
So we'll see what Monday brings. We've discussed taking October off--I'm supposed to be on travel, and we wanted time to pray about and research the other medicine--and I'm thinking that if my follicles are shrinking, and if the plan really is 200 mg, I may need a month to pull myself together.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Patience is a Virtue
I know that being patient is a virtue, and I understand that with a child I'll need lots more patience than I currently have. Fortunately, God is preparing us.
We made another trip to the doctor yesterday to learn that once again, I have no eggs ready to land in the nest. While it's reassuring to know that each time we've been right, and have read the little ovulation predictor stick correctly, it's not so reassuring to know that nothing is making these eggs grow.
This month we started with a double dose of Chlomid, and it really affected me physically. Of course, there was some other stress, but I think that the medicine totally took advantage of my worn out body and it really messed with my attitude, I was dizzy, etc. So although a double dose sounded like a lot to me, it had taken that last month, and the side effects were not enough to keep me home from work. Because nothing happened on the double dose, the doctor's office has prescribed 3x the original amount that worked from March through June, which I'll start tomorrow because the hospital here in Podunk can't fill that order until tomorrow.
150 mg seems like a lot of Chlomid. I was seriously wondering what happens next--as in, at what point do you accept that God may be finding not so subtle ways to show you that your body may not be able to produce a child the "easy" (as if any of this is easy!) way? I mean, what would be next--at what point is the dose of Chlomid too high? If at 50 mg all sorts of terrible things may happen to the fetus....Anyway, the nurse at the doctor's office assures us that there's still another medication that we'll do next month. It's "off the label" as in we'll be using if for a purpose it wasn't created to do. It has higher risks than Chlomid, but again, at 3x the "normal" dose of Chlomid, we're already playing the risk game. I need to do more research into the other medication.
So once Podunk has enough Chlomid to fill my prescription, we'll be off and running again. Good news is that I have a lot of sick leave at work. Bad news is that it's over a weekend, and Hubby will have to put up with me and my attitude. Good news is that no matter what, it's out of our hands, and we've known with both this and with the other Hen's nest (we are still pursuing her Chick as well), we know that there's a lesson from God in all of it. We just have to be patient and wait to learn what His plan is.
We made another trip to the doctor yesterday to learn that once again, I have no eggs ready to land in the nest. While it's reassuring to know that each time we've been right, and have read the little ovulation predictor stick correctly, it's not so reassuring to know that nothing is making these eggs grow.
This month we started with a double dose of Chlomid, and it really affected me physically. Of course, there was some other stress, but I think that the medicine totally took advantage of my worn out body and it really messed with my attitude, I was dizzy, etc. So although a double dose sounded like a lot to me, it had taken that last month, and the side effects were not enough to keep me home from work. Because nothing happened on the double dose, the doctor's office has prescribed 3x the original amount that worked from March through June, which I'll start tomorrow because the hospital here in Podunk can't fill that order until tomorrow.
150 mg seems like a lot of Chlomid. I was seriously wondering what happens next--as in, at what point do you accept that God may be finding not so subtle ways to show you that your body may not be able to produce a child the "easy" (as if any of this is easy!) way? I mean, what would be next--at what point is the dose of Chlomid too high? If at 50 mg all sorts of terrible things may happen to the fetus....Anyway, the nurse at the doctor's office assures us that there's still another medication that we'll do next month. It's "off the label" as in we'll be using if for a purpose it wasn't created to do. It has higher risks than Chlomid, but again, at 3x the "normal" dose of Chlomid, we're already playing the risk game. I need to do more research into the other medication.
So once Podunk has enough Chlomid to fill my prescription, we'll be off and running again. Good news is that I have a lot of sick leave at work. Bad news is that it's over a weekend, and Hubby will have to put up with me and my attitude. Good news is that no matter what, it's out of our hands, and we've known with both this and with the other Hen's nest (we are still pursuing her Chick as well), we know that there's a lesson from God in all of it. We just have to be patient and wait to learn what His plan is.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
All Consuming
Despite our best intentions, this month was a flop :) So we begin again!
However, my body is apparently on a holiday or doing something incredibly odd, as generally the 15th day after we've coached, prompted and even..."babied" an egg to come out, and usually even within an hour or two from taking the pregnancy blood test, I'm starting the daily count again. We're now about four days off schedule, which wouldn't be a big deal, but I'm really noticing how much of life focuses around this. I thought that I would be easier going, and more relaxed, and I swore I wasn't going to be one of those bloggers that was constantly obsessing over days and slinging around lingo that others don't understand. I read a ton about how others allow this path to become so consuming that it's their entire life, and I vowed not to do it. And here I am doing it.
This month we were scheduled to go to Utah for our anniversary (every year we venture forth to unknown territory), and wouldn't you know it, the trip falls in the middle of the potential IUI time. While it doesn't sound like a big deal to most--I know, just postpone the trip--our even celebrating anniversaries is a really important part of our now relationship. However, I'm not willing to "waste" a month by not doing the procedure this month either. So now I'm in a quandary.
Not being pregnant sucks, but we honestly didn't think it would take immediately either. I understand that there's still a huge movement of the "if you think about constantly and truly desire it with all your heart it'll happen" train of thought. I don't believe this--it has to be God's plan. I just have to be sure that I'm not obsessing over it the point where I stop listening to Him...and be sure that I'm not not obsessing over it the point where I'm hindering Him.
Argh.
Hopefully it'll be counting time again this week, and then it wall fall into place.
However, my body is apparently on a holiday or doing something incredibly odd, as generally the 15th day after we've coached, prompted and even..."babied" an egg to come out, and usually even within an hour or two from taking the pregnancy blood test, I'm starting the daily count again. We're now about four days off schedule, which wouldn't be a big deal, but I'm really noticing how much of life focuses around this. I thought that I would be easier going, and more relaxed, and I swore I wasn't going to be one of those bloggers that was constantly obsessing over days and slinging around lingo that others don't understand. I read a ton about how others allow this path to become so consuming that it's their entire life, and I vowed not to do it. And here I am doing it.
This month we were scheduled to go to Utah for our anniversary (every year we venture forth to unknown territory), and wouldn't you know it, the trip falls in the middle of the potential IUI time. While it doesn't sound like a big deal to most--I know, just postpone the trip--our even celebrating anniversaries is a really important part of our now relationship. However, I'm not willing to "waste" a month by not doing the procedure this month either. So now I'm in a quandary.
Not being pregnant sucks, but we honestly didn't think it would take immediately either. I understand that there's still a huge movement of the "if you think about constantly and truly desire it with all your heart it'll happen" train of thought. I don't believe this--it has to be God's plan. I just have to be sure that I'm not obsessing over it the point where I stop listening to Him...and be sure that I'm not not obsessing over it the point where I'm hindering Him.
Argh.
Hopefully it'll be counting time again this week, and then it wall fall into place.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Mass Production?
After no follicles, two seems like a lot.
I completed another round of Chlomid, this time a double shot. I managed not to be completely crazy, the floater in my eye did not grow, and I actually was not more nauseous or any other scary side effect more than usual. We met with the doctor's office today, and I was privileged to receive another HCG shot. Tomorrow we'll return at my crack of dawn for the first round of IUI.
I really appreciated the nurse that viewed the ultrasound. She was quiet at first, but fortunately relieved me when she said enthusiastically that there were two follicles. Hubby has become pretty good at picking out follicles on the little screen, and thinks they measured large...I guess that's good, but it seems a little weird to me that there were none even slightly stimulated 7 days ago, and now there's two? So now my mind's wondering thinking about the whole hormone induced animals to create more production of food and how some studies link this to what causes young girls to menstruate and develop breasts earlier and earlier...I'm on a whole 'nother track. It was just interesting to think about, especially because I'm on a kick to switch to all organic food, and have really only persisted in milk and meat so far, because I've been so worried about what added hormones do. Of course, as stated in the previous post, maybe I should pay more attention to what I take...and I think that includes all things that go into my body :)
Anyway, the nurse was pretty enthusiastic, and explained everything about IUI to us in good detail. I'll probably be too sleepy tomorrow to really register it, so that was good (we're scheduled for 915, and I get off work at 0630 plus we have a two hour drive, so I'll be sleeping in the car right up until it's my turn). The nurse was then shocked that I haven't been taking any prenatal vitamins...to be fair, it wasn't on the list of pills to take as far as Hubby and I remember, but it makes sense, and I'll be attempting to swallow those bad boys starting this weekend.
Here's hoping for some news to report in a few weeks :)
I completed another round of Chlomid, this time a double shot. I managed not to be completely crazy, the floater in my eye did not grow, and I actually was not more nauseous or any other scary side effect more than usual. We met with the doctor's office today, and I was privileged to receive another HCG shot. Tomorrow we'll return at my crack of dawn for the first round of IUI.
I really appreciated the nurse that viewed the ultrasound. She was quiet at first, but fortunately relieved me when she said enthusiastically that there were two follicles. Hubby has become pretty good at picking out follicles on the little screen, and thinks they measured large...I guess that's good, but it seems a little weird to me that there were none even slightly stimulated 7 days ago, and now there's two? So now my mind's wondering thinking about the whole hormone induced animals to create more production of food and how some studies link this to what causes young girls to menstruate and develop breasts earlier and earlier...I'm on a whole 'nother track. It was just interesting to think about, especially because I'm on a kick to switch to all organic food, and have really only persisted in milk and meat so far, because I've been so worried about what added hormones do. Of course, as stated in the previous post, maybe I should pay more attention to what I take...and I think that includes all things that go into my body :)
Anyway, the nurse was pretty enthusiastic, and explained everything about IUI to us in good detail. I'll probably be too sleepy tomorrow to really register it, so that was good (we're scheduled for 915, and I get off work at 0630 plus we have a two hour drive, so I'll be sleeping in the car right up until it's my turn). The nurse was then shocked that I haven't been taking any prenatal vitamins...to be fair, it wasn't on the list of pills to take as far as Hubby and I remember, but it makes sense, and I'll be attempting to swallow those bad boys starting this weekend.
Here's hoping for some news to report in a few weeks :)
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Floaters and Other Questions Answered
One would think that before taking drugs, one should read all the warnings that come with the pills. I'm sure that a lot of this was mentioned by the doctor's office, but there was so much information that I know I missed a good chunk of it.
I'm now repeating the Chlomid for this month. I'm actually taking a double dose. I told a co-worker it made me nervous, and she asked what the side effects are. I had never read the brochure, so I did.
I now know perhaps why I've had a "floater" in my line of vision. I now have a reason to understand why I'm nauseous, dizzy, headache ridden, and tender. I've also learned that there's a small chance of mood changes. There'll be the shock for Hubby :)
Unfortunately, I also read the potential outcomes. There's a less than one percent chance of birth abnormalities. Out of the clinical tests, about 20% ended in spontaneous abortion. I found it disturbing that the brochure from the company that makes the Chlomid has a section titled "Pregnancy Wastage." That's where the spontaneous abortion and stillborns are listed. I'm not sure why the term "wastage" bothers me so much. Is a human life ever a waste--even if the life does not make it to birth?
I'm now repeating the Chlomid for this month. I'm actually taking a double dose. I told a co-worker it made me nervous, and she asked what the side effects are. I had never read the brochure, so I did.
I now know perhaps why I've had a "floater" in my line of vision. I now have a reason to understand why I'm nauseous, dizzy, headache ridden, and tender. I've also learned that there's a small chance of mood changes. There'll be the shock for Hubby :)
Unfortunately, I also read the potential outcomes. There's a less than one percent chance of birth abnormalities. Out of the clinical tests, about 20% ended in spontaneous abortion. I found it disturbing that the brochure from the company that makes the Chlomid has a section titled "Pregnancy Wastage." That's where the spontaneous abortion and stillborns are listed. I'm not sure why the term "wastage" bothers me so much. Is a human life ever a waste--even if the life does not make it to birth?
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