Sunday, June 1, 2008

Life Rolls On

Obviously if we had had success in April, I would be cheering and posting, right? Guess where we stand :)

We've endured the third month of Chlomid and shots of HCG (I think I have that right, but it is late at night, and I'm fading!). What's amazing to me is that each month I get more negative, but the doctor's office is still positive :) It's also amazing that each of the three shots have been so different. The last two had to involve my dad as shot master, including mixing up the magic potion this month (the first month the clinic gave it to me, the second was a preloaded syringe) and I think he's taught Hubby how to do it, so next month Hubby can get even with me and shoot me up :)

Something, I think it was a combination of stress and Chlomid, made this month hard. Like, crying at work hard. And I don't usually let that happen--I get mad, but I don't cry where the big boys can see me. It's hard to pin what makes me up and down, and screwing with my hormones certainly doesn't help! However, the stuff that normally happens to me after the shot didn't happen this month, and I really need to read more and learn more about what should happen and what shouldn't happen. The only thing I've really learned, is that out of a 4 week cycle, Hubby only has a normal wife for 1 week. Well, as normal as I ever was.

This month we only had one egg (and that sounds ridiculous as I type it, but I really thought that since I was so off the wall this month, and last month I'd been calmer and we had two eggs, that this month we should have had a whole flock), and it was tiny. Not too small to work with, but tiny. I don't know how much stress played into this, but of course, being off the wall of normalcy, I blamed everything else in my life.

So now we're playing the waiting game for the pregnancy test. I'm almost on a first name basis with the blood lab. We're getting pretty good at first names with the various nurses (we didn't have the same nurse this month, and it did throw me for a loop). I'm ready to move on to the next step (IUI) next month, but I'm not sure about Hubby. Initially we said we'd do three to four months with just the Chlomid, but honestly, I don't know if one more month makes that much difference. And since the clinic (while leaving it completely up to us) seemed to lean more toward the next step after our first consultation, it may be time to roll on to the next step.