Tuesday, August 19, 2008

All Consuming

Despite our best intentions, this month was a flop :) So we begin again!

However, my body is apparently on a holiday or doing something incredibly odd, as generally the 15th day after we've coached, prompted and even..."babied" an egg to come out, and usually even within an hour or two from taking the pregnancy blood test, I'm starting the daily count again. We're now about four days off schedule, which wouldn't be a big deal, but I'm really noticing how much of life focuses around this. I thought that I would be easier going, and more relaxed, and I swore I wasn't going to be one of those bloggers that was constantly obsessing over days and slinging around lingo that others don't understand. I read a ton about how others allow this path to become so consuming that it's their entire life, and I vowed not to do it. And here I am doing it.

This month we were scheduled to go to Utah for our anniversary (every year we venture forth to unknown territory), and wouldn't you know it, the trip falls in the middle of the potential IUI time. While it doesn't sound like a big deal to most--I know, just postpone the trip--our even celebrating anniversaries is a really important part of our now relationship. However, I'm not willing to "waste" a month by not doing the procedure this month either. So now I'm in a quandary.

Not being pregnant sucks, but we honestly didn't think it would take immediately either. I understand that there's still a huge movement of the "if you think about constantly and truly desire it with all your heart it'll happen" train of thought. I don't believe this--it has to be God's plan. I just have to be sure that I'm not obsessing over it the point where I stop listening to Him...and be sure that I'm not not obsessing over it the point where I'm hindering Him.


Hopefully it'll be counting time again this week, and then it wall fall into place.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Mass Production?

After no follicles, two seems like a lot.

I completed another round of Chlomid, this time a double shot. I managed not to be completely crazy, the floater in my eye did not grow, and I actually was not more nauseous or any other scary side effect more than usual. We met with the doctor's office today, and I was privileged to receive another HCG shot. Tomorrow we'll return at my crack of dawn for the first round of IUI.

I really appreciated the nurse that viewed the ultrasound. She was quiet at first, but fortunately relieved me when she said enthusiastically that there were two follicles. Hubby has become pretty good at picking out follicles on the little screen, and thinks they measured large...I guess that's good, but it seems a little weird to me that there were none even slightly stimulated 7 days ago, and now there's two? So now my mind's wondering thinking about the whole hormone induced animals to create more production of food and how some studies link this to what causes young girls to menstruate and develop breasts earlier and earlier...I'm on a whole 'nother track. It was just interesting to think about, especially because I'm on a kick to switch to all organic food, and have really only persisted in milk and meat so far, because I've been so worried about what added hormones do. Of course, as stated in the previous post, maybe I should pay more attention to what I take...and I think that includes all things that go into my body :)

Anyway, the nurse was pretty enthusiastic, and explained everything about IUI to us in good detail. I'll probably be too sleepy tomorrow to really register it, so that was good (we're scheduled for 915, and I get off work at 0630 plus we have a two hour drive, so I'll be sleeping in the car right up until it's my turn). The nurse was then shocked that I haven't been taking any prenatal vitamins...to be fair, it wasn't on the list of pills to take as far as Hubby and I remember, but it makes sense, and I'll be attempting to swallow those bad boys starting this weekend.

Here's hoping for some news to report in a few weeks :)