Saturday, July 26, 2008

Floaters and Other Questions Answered

One would think that before taking drugs, one should read all the warnings that come with the pills. I'm sure that a lot of this was mentioned by the doctor's office, but there was so much information that I know I missed a good chunk of it.

I'm now repeating the Chlomid for this month. I'm actually taking a double dose. I told a co-worker it made me nervous, and she asked what the side effects are. I had never read the brochure, so I did.

I now know perhaps why I've had a "floater" in my line of vision. I now have a reason to understand why I'm nauseous, dizzy, headache ridden, and tender. I've also learned that there's a small chance of mood changes. There'll be the shock for Hubby :)

Unfortunately, I also read the potential outcomes. There's a less than one percent chance of birth abnormalities. Out of the clinical tests, about 20% ended in spontaneous abortion. I found it disturbing that the brochure from the company that makes the Chlomid has a section titled "Pregnancy Wastage." That's where the spontaneous abortion and stillborns are listed. I'm not sure why the term "wastage" bothers me so much. Is a human life ever a waste--even if the life does not make it to birth?

Calm in the Hen House

The streak was too good to last. After over 10 years of irregularity, I shouldn't have been so nonchalant about having seven months of regular girly life.

It was weird--as we were barreling towards the doctor's office, ready to confirm that we had an egg ready to launch, do what's necessary so we could start IUI, we were totally discussing how amazing it was that we hadn't needed more assistance in cycling each month. We'd even noticed this month that I was much calmer and even-tempered on Chlomid than I have been.

The nurse spent a long time with her ultrasound machine. She asked a lot of questions. Even Hubby noted that something had to be amiss. Sure enough, no egg. Since the home tests never showed a surge, this was weird. There's not even a well developed egg that just got lost on the way out. The nurse said no traces of an egg being released was spotted on the ultrasound, and that the uterus had good lining.

So good news and bad news. Good news because we've had a lot extra expenses this week, and we're still looking into the other Hen's Nest idea, which means we've got more money coming out...and pay day is Wednesday. This was stressing me out, but we were ready to do whatever it took. Good news too that Hubby and I were all on board at the same time and the same place. Bad news because it isn't about money. It's about a chick. And I know that hearing that nothing happened stunk.

I had another blood test, and the nurse will call us tomorrow. If there was a surge, and the home tests missed it, we just wait for next month. If there was not a surge, I take double the amount of Chlomid for a cycle starting tomorrow. That's a lot. I think this may mean the end of my even-temperateness/calm behavior.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Another Hen's Nest

Anybody else would have taken this month to be a sign that perhaps my nest is not the best nest to be attempting an egg. It begins with the whole I actually listened to some instructions, for the first time in my life, and then promptly misinterepted them.

The doctor's office has a message on the machine that advises that if weekend appointments are for emergencies only, and to call during the week for non-emergencies. Now, never mind that the office also has a sign posted to call them on day one of menstration so that the blood test can be done and results secured before prescriptions can be filled. So on a Saturday morning, I opted to follow the machine and decided to call first thing on Monday. Of course, I worked on Monday, so the nurse called the house, where I didn't get the message until the office was closed. Tuesday I harassed the tar out of various office staff trying to get information on whether I could still get the blood test and results in time--Day 5 is when you have to take the first pill. Tuesday afternoon I was told to run and get the test...but couldn't leave work because there wasn't enough staff. So on Day 5, Wednesday morning, I raced to get the blood test, just to get the results late Wednesday and not be able to get the pills until Thursday...DAY6.

So I took the pills a day late, figuring that I'm never on time with anything, and surely--considering my odd work hours have me juggling medication around and around (night stuff is actually taken at 0700, and morning pills are currently taken at 1700, except for weeks like this when I'm on travel--more about that in a minute--and then I have to readjust everything for the week and then go back to the wrong schedule...I'm always a day off and confused) God would let this work.

Sure enough, for the first time ever (well, since we've been testing since January), I actually ovulated on my own. On Day 18 (when I was supposed to call the doctor's office on Day 16--but no staff at work meant that the earliest I could get coverage to go to the doctor was Day 19), I took the little ovulation test at work, and had the magic two lines indicating an egg was ready for launch. I nearly passed out in shock, and I'd love to know what the others in the center thought the Clear Blue Easy stick of love was doing in our garbage...nobody has said a word though.

So Hubby and I rejoiced, and didn't make all the times required for a ton of reasons that would launch a whole new world of blogging troubles. Now here I sit, a million miles from home, and today is Day 15 of the second round of counting--the day I have to get the blood test to insure I'm not pregnant, so that I can get the prescription for Chlomid, and I'm in the middle of nowhere, with the nearest hospital being hours away, and all the blood labs I'm familiar with be even further away. It's not possible to get the bloodwork done, and I'm cramping, so I'll be most likely on Day 1 either tonight or tomorrow, and the whole dilemna with the doctor's office will happen again this month. Plus, this month we wanted to discuss starting IUI with the doctor's office. How can I ask them for an appointment to discuss that when it will most likely appear to them that we're not really serious about this--which we are, but I have to work to pay for these treatments, and I really can't tell my job I have to leave when it breaks the policies I signed there because I can't abandon my post, and I can't really tell my job that I couldn't go to this training when I need it for my job requirements.

In the meantime, an opportunity to pursue the egg that's currently nestling in another hen has arisen. It's really iffy, and there a million issues that are way too big to even begin going in to--especially when every 5 minutes my WiFi connection has to be renewed from where I am.

So I'm wondering how important the nest is, when the chicken will love and care for the chick, how to convince the egg to try out this nest and how important one month is if we miss this month. Maybe the silver lining is that having to take a month off will allow us to focus on this potential chick and whether we even want to pursue it.